Reflections from an HIV Advocate's Journey: Kamaria Laffrey

By: Kamaria Laffrey, Co-Executive Director at The Sero Project

Coming up on recognizing my 20th year of living with HIV in September, I have taken time to anchor myself in gratitude for the life I get to live. When I chose to be public about my status, I wasn’t seeking visibility to propel myself into any position in life, I simply didn’t want another Black, young mother like myself to go through what I went through. Educating about prevention is what started out my advocacy as I was called on to share my story at various events. I was always grateful to be with youth especially and keep up with many of those that I educated as they are adults and have families now. 

The more I told my story over the years, re-disclosing and living through various levels of grief, shame, and trauma, I had to recognize I didn’t live in that space anymore. At 27, I realized I wasn’t the sheltered, scared, insecure, college girl that didn’t know she had a voice. That meant, my narrative had to shift. That meant, I no longer wanted to position myself in prevention education as a cautionary tale. That meant I finally saw my humanity on the level that I wanted others to see me, without the veil of stigma. That was key. 

Then, I doubled down on learning as much about HIV beyond prevention as I could. I focused on treatment adherence and began hearing about undetectable equals untransmittable. I signed up for mailing lists and participated in any free webinar I could to hear folks with years of experience talk about emerging issues and innovative ideas. I found myself showing up at local health events and if sexual health was on the agenda, I made sure to insert HIV. I took up space so that I could learn. 

It opened my eyes to intersectionality and bodily autonomy and I give credit to Positive Women’s Network and The Well Project for introducing me to building this framework in my advocacy. All of this eventually built the path that I am now in serving as the co-executive director of The Sero Project where we center PLHIV leadership to end the criminalization of HIV, mass incarceration, and racial and social injustice by supporting inclusive PLHIV networks to improve policy outcomes, advance human rights and promote healing justice.

When I hear people talk about ending the HIV epidemic, I pause and look for the words between the lines. Twenty years of living with anything can mold you, shape you and form your identity. I have spent 20 years advocating to be heard, valued, healthy, and sustained in my life and that takes a firm place in acknowledging a collective identity. Part of battling the stigma of HIV for me is to never forget who I was before my diagnosis, not just in remembering where I come from but remembering my dreams and goals, aspirations and hopes. I have always been an introspective person, so in my reflection, in my gratitude, I am always assessing, who is Kamaria when HIV ends?  

And that thought never terrifies me, but I am deeply concerned for my community because so many of us have our identities anchored to this diagnosis. I am concerned that when we cling to that, we sometimes get in our own way or jump on a hamster wheel of validation because we are afraid to step into a bold imagination of our future, a real-world and place where HIV doesn’t exist. Public health in concept should be forever, HIV shouldn’t be. 

So, for me, 20 years of living with HIV could have been done in secret and my life would not be what it is today. I am grateful to have met and worked alongside so many courageous people over the years. People who love to and are incredibly talented in their passion to cook, foster pets, braid hair, rock climb, collect Funko pop, create fashion lines, raise their children, garden, knit, and perform spoken word - vastly beautiful beings that have shown me living beyond a diagnosis of HIV and stigma is not just possible, but my right. Liberation is our right. Right?

Disclaimer: Guest blogs do not necessarily reflect the views of the ADAP Advocacy Association, but rather they provide a neutral platform whereby the author serves to promote open, honest discussion about public health-related issues and updates.