By: Maria Mejia, Board Member, Community Access National Network, and HIV advocate
Where do I start ? I dont want to sound tragic. I have lived so many things in these 33 years of living with this, hum, condition called HIV! I remeber being told as a little teen that I had AIDS in a time it was a death sentence...and people were dropping like flies. It was so scary for me, as a teen. I saw what was on television, with gay white men full of these black spots, and a little angel, Ryan White, who was constantly harassed just for wanting to go to school. I thought to myself if they do that to him what are they going to do to me? For the longest time, only my mother and little brother knew about my status.
I remember some television clips while i was living in my country, Colombia, where in my mind I returned to die! I saw marches. I saw much pain and sorrow! I witness people with AIDS being put into black garbage bags, and many funeral homes didn't even want to touch the bodies. The trauma has been described as a soldier coming back from war full of mental or physical wounds. We have lost so many brothers and sisters!!!
I have survived, but like with many other long-term survivors, left with PTSD, anxiety, depression and survivors guilt. I urge people in the health system to make a special assessment for LONG TERM SURVIVORS and our unique needs. We are still here and we are still fighting. I remember in those early days, I had no medication, support system, support groups, social media or anything whatsoever.
After I almost died with 39 t-cells and Cancer in my uterus, I DECIDED TO LIVE! I started treatment here in the United States, retuning here because we had nothing in Colombia. I also started my grassroots work in activism ! Twenty-four years of hard work to help myself, and others all over the Globe. I am one of those examples that I wish would have been in my life after my diagnosis. Now, I have survived and I know exactly what my mission and purpose is until I go to the light.
Covid-19 came to trigger me and many of my friends! It is so horrible that almost 30 of my friends around of the Globe have passed away!!! Many left their meds form of suicide. Many from Cancer because they didn't get the proper diagnostics and treatment, including La Francis, who was one of my dearest friends from Spain. She basically had parallel stories with me. I don't know where to start to grief!
I try to keep a positive mindset and push my spirit to go on. But, I hate Covid-19 !!! It has changed many peoples lives.
The similarities with HIV/AIDS is scary. The stigma, shame, death, fear of the unknown, dying alone, and the black garbage bags. With all that being said. I urge everyone to help one another!!! Many of us are in isolation and many have relapsed on substances, and intimate partner violence is way up. It is so sad to see...but we must continue the fight and try to be strong.
It is hard to live with TWO pandemics at once, but it goes to show our resilience. Please continue pushing, continue fighting, and continue loving yourself and your brothers and sisters! I wish everyone much love and light. Until the next time...
Disclaimer: Guest blogs do not necessarily reflect the views of the ADAP Advocacy Association, but rather they provide a neutral platform whereby the author serves to promote open, honest discussion about public health-related issues and updates.
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