I guess you can say I am an HIV advocate by necessity…
I left home 7 days after high school graduation in 1985 and reported to Basic Camp at Fort Knox, Kentucky. I had an amazing life and career. I have lived and been stationed around the world. From Europe to Hawaii to Asia and across the United States. I was diagnosed with HIV while deploying to Iraq in July 2006 – it was a total surprise. Everything changed at that moment.
I could no longer be assigned to a combat unit.I could no longer volunteer to deploy in support of any overseas operation. I could no longer be stationed in Korea, and I no longer had control over my HIV status. It was hard enough as it was to be told by a stranger, and be pulled away from your friends and at that time was going to get a detachment command, but it was the shear overwhelming nature of being treated “different…”
I headed back to Washington, DC and to what would be a very long tour at the Pentagon. But like so many other gay and HIV-positive service members…I had to try harder…work harder and deflect every question about why I was not able to deploy. I was even “coached” to lie and not let anyone know I was HIV-positive because of the fear and stigma in the chain of command.
I even went as far as to demand to be treated at the Navy Infectious Diseases Clinic in Bethesda, and not the Army Clinic at Walter Reed. I knew that I needed to be as far away from the Army, and I am a firm believer in mental health support that at the time only the Navy offered as a part of HIV care.
So if you’ve ever been in an HIV support group, there are the introductions and I’ve been HIV-positive for xx years...imagine these young service members because for them it was “days” since diagnosis, and the fear of disclosure to anyone of any rank. My parental advocacy kicked in. I would go to “group” in uniform. The clinic staff asked me not to do it (out of their own internal rank stigma/fear) but very soon realized why I was doing it. These young enlisted soldiers and sailors sitting amongst strangers, scared about life and their own military career. I’d be there, and in turn identify as Ken and HIV-positive...and at that moment I was just one of them. We were connected, and I found myself an accidental advocate and it felt right.
Sadly, my story turns very dark in 2009, when I was informed that I was under investigation for “HIV exposure” by a then “anonymous” complaint. It wasn’t until 2012 that I was court-martialed, and imprisoned at Fort Leavenworth without any evidence, denied the phylogenetic testing I volunteered for and even my family were called lairs by a US Army military judge. We later learned that a former U.S. Army First Lieutenant fabricated and lied that I had miraculously “exposed” him (not infected him) without any sexual contact. The Army never conducted an investigation and even denied my volunteering for phylogenetic analysis ,which would prove my HIV is not his HIV.
I was released from prison in 2013, and have been on a war footing ever since. I will not stop telling my story and advocating to abolish HIV criminalization. My fight continues even today! Yes, for myself and my family – as I lost everything…I lost my home, my career and a 29-year retirement. I can’t get a job due to the conviction, and only recently successfully won back my Veterans Affairs medical benefits from early Gulf War combat injuries that had me hospitalized for a year at Walter Reed.
It’s not an easy fight. I’ll admit that I cry every single day…its cathartic and helps clear my mind.
The struggle is real for all advocates and it’s also personal for many of us…it really is for me!
Disclaimer: Guest blogs do not necessarily reflect the views of the ADAP Advocacy Association, but rather they provide a neutral platform whereby the author serves to promote open, honest discussion about public health-related issues and updates.
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