In June of 2002, I was ready for my life to end. I was married and had wonderful children, but I was unable to live the lie I had created by trying to live a straight life. I thought the only thing to do would be ending my pretend life.
During that next 6 months I met someone, and he encouraged me find a counselor and that helped me tremendously for a while. But, in January of 2003, he took his own life. I was devastated, obviously. He had helped talk me off of the ledge. I would have loved to have been able to do the same for him.
I found out the day after he passed away that he had HIV and by June a year later, I too, found out that I had HIV. Once again, I fell into depression and saw no hope for the future. There had been bouts with substance abuse that I kept secret and I had lived in state of denial for many years.
They say that time heals all wounds, and little by little and with a lot of help from the Ryan White Program in Charleston, SC, my excellent psychiatrist along with my therapist, I was able to piece things back together enough to want to live. It took about seven years for me to realize that one of the most tragic moments of my life had been the seed for change within me.
The clinic where I received care was forming a community advisory board and I was asked to chair it. I was so happy to be able to be part of this at the time and it also inspired me to be more present at other group events they held at the clinic. By attending such events, I met my partner, Rick. I remember thinking: he is not leaving here without my phone number! We have been together almost 7 years now.
I have volunteered at our local AIDS Walk and Art for Charity by donating some of my paintings. I found myself making more and more friends who were also advocates and together we joined the SC HIV Taskforce, and SC HIV Planning Council, of which I am the current Community Co-Chair.
In 2013, I went to the United Stated Conference on AIDS (USCA), held in New Orleans. I was blown away with how many advocates attended this event and really began to see how we can all inspire each other. So many people at this conference who at the time were strangers to me, have had an impact on my life in positive, productive and compassionate ways. I alone cannot do much in this world, but myself along with this patient and persistent group of advocates, we can change the world a little bit each day.
Author Carolyn Myss says: “Once we are awakened to something - a truth or injustice - we are held accountable and must take action according to that truth."
Once I returned from USCA, I really got involved with advocacy through the SC HIV Task Force by advocating at our State House for Medicaid expansion, as well as being involved with planning community forums around the state to educate the public on what Medicaid expansion would mean to the people of South Carolina. To date we have not expanded Medicaid, but I believe we should keep our eye on the brass ring…
I went to AIDSWatch in the early part of 2014 for the first time, and once again I was surrounded by a group of people from over 30 states who were there to talk to and advocate for people living with HIV. I believe we had 12 people from South Carolina. I have been there multiple times since then and plan on going again in the future.
I have a few friends that I have been blessed with and we together have gone to events like HIV is Not A Crime, ADAP Advocacy Association Annual AIDS Drug Assistance Program Conference, and Positive Living Conferences. Each time, I learn from my peers about how I can become a better advocate.
I am very thankful to and have learned so much from the conferences over the last few years. There are so many things I have been able to bring back to our planning council and also to those in the community after attending these events.
Ghandi said “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” I think about this often and I thank God for giving me an opportunity to change and grow in positive ways, and I know he has done so through all the amazing advocates i have met over the years.
Disclaimer: Guest blogs do not necessarily reflect the views of the ADAP Advocacy Association, but rather they provide a neutral platform whereby the author serves to promote open, honest discussion about public health-related issues and updates.
No comments:
Post a Comment